Last week, we talked about supervision tools and parental controls — the features built into Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and popular gaming platforms that help parents stay involved.
Those tools are helpful.
But they’re only part of the picture.
Because even with supervision turned on, there’s another issue that quietly causes problems:
Privacy.
Not dramatic privacy.
Not government-surveillance privacy.
Just the simple question:
Who can see your child’s information?
This week, we’re looking at the privacy settings that actually matter — the ones that determine who can find your child, message them, track them, tag them, or see more than they should.
Most of these settings take five minutes to adjust.
And they make a big difference.
Let’s walk through them.
Privacy Settings That Actually Matter
When it comes to online safety, the biggest risks often aren’t hidden.
They’re visible.
Public accounts.
Open messages.
Location sharing.
Bios that reveal too much.
Most teens don’t think twice about this information.
Adults should.
1. Public vs. Private Accounts
This is the first thing to check on any platform.
If an account is public:
- Anyone can see posts
- Anyone can follow
- Anyone can screenshot
- Anyone can message
If an account is private:
- The teen must approve followers
- Posts are limited to approved followers
- Random strangers can’t casually browse
For most teens, especially younger ones, private is the safer choice.
Private does not mean invisible.
It simply reduces exposure.
2. Who Can Send Direct Messages?
Most platforms allow you to control:
- Who can send direct messages
- Who can send message requests
- Who can reply to stories
- Who can comment
Best practice for teens:
- Friends only for direct messages
- Friends only for comments
- Limit message requests from strangers
If your teen says, “But my account is private,” remind them:
Private accounts can still receive messages unless messaging is restricted.
3. Location Sharing
This one matters more than most parents realize.
Check for:
- Snap Map (Snapchat)
- Live location sharing (Instagram)
- Location tags on posts
- Phone-level location permissions
If Snap Map is enabled in public mode, anyone on their friends list can see their location in real time.
That may include people they barely know.
Safer options:
- Turn off location sharing entirely
- Or set it to “Only Me” or select trusted friends
Most teens turn this on without fully understanding what it does.
4. Bio Information
Teens love bios.
And bios often reveal:
- Age
- School name
- Sports team
- Graduation year
- Town
- Relationship status
Individually, these seem harmless.
Combined, they create a very clear picture.
Instead of:
“15 | West High | Soccer #10 | Portsmouth”
Encourage something less specific.
The goal isn’t secrecy.
It’s minimizing identifying details.
5. Tagging Controls
On Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, users can adjust:
- Who can tag them
- Whether tagged posts need approval before appearing
- Who can mention them
Turn on tag approval where possible.
That prevents inappropriate or embarrassing content from automatically appearing on your teen’s profile.
6. Friend Lists & Follower Audits
Encourage teens to periodically review:
- Who follows them
- Who they follow
- Who they’ve accepted friend requests from
A simple question helps:
“Do you know this person in real life?”
If the answer is no — it may be time to remove them.
Not every online connection is dangerous.
But not every one is necessary either.
7. Blocking & Reporting Settings
Make sure your teen knows:
- How to block someone
- How to report harassment
- That blocking someone is not “being mean”
Blocking is a boundary.
It’s a healthy one.
A Quick Privacy Checklist
If you want a five-minute reset:
- Switch accounts to private
- Restrict DMs to friends only
- Turn off public location sharing
- Remove identifying details from bios
- Turn on tag approval
- Review followers
That alone significantly reduces exposure.
What This Really Comes Down To
Privacy settings don’t eliminate risk.
But they shrink the audience.
And when the audience shrinks, so does the opportunity for trouble.
Next time, we’ll talk about something many parents avoid discussing:
Blocking, reporting, cyberbullying — and how to help teens handle uncomfortable interactions without escalating them.
Because sometimes safety isn’t about preventing every problem.
It’s about knowing what to do when one shows up.
Blocking, Reporting & Handling Online Bullying
There’s something many parents hesitate to talk about.
Not because it’s rare.
But because it’s uncomfortable.
Eventually, most teens will encounter something online that makes them uneasy.
It might be:
- A rude comment
- Someone repeatedly messaging them
- A classmate sharing a screenshot
- A stranger being inappropriate
- Someone pressuring them for photos
- A “joke” that doesn’t feel like a joke
This doesn’t mean your child has done something wrong.
It means they’re online.
The goal isn’t to prevent every uncomfortable moment.
It’s to teach them how to respond when one happens.
First: Normalize the Block Button
Many teens hesitate to block someone.
They worry it looks dramatic.
Or mean.
Or like they “lost.”
Blocking is not weakness.
Blocking is a boundary.
Every major platform allows users to:
- Block someone
- Remove a follower
- Restrict an account
- Silence notifications
Teach your teen this sentence:
“I don’t owe anyone access to me.”
That applies online too.
What Blocking Actually Does
On most platforms, blocking someone means:
- They can’t see your profile
- They can’t message you
- They can’t tag you
- They can’t comment on your posts
On some platforms, the person is not notified they’ve been blocked.
It simply cuts off access.
That’s a healthy tool.
Reporting: When to Use It
Reporting is different from blocking.
Blocking protects your child.
Reporting alerts the platform.
Teens should report:
- Harassment
- Threats
- Impersonation
- Sexual messages
- Hate speech
- Scams
- Sharing private images
Most apps have a simple “Report” option under posts, messages, or profiles.
It takes less than a minute.
And it matters.
Screenshot Before You Block
This is important.
If something serious happens:
- Threats
- Extortion
- Requests for explicit images
- Repeated harassment
Take screenshots before blocking.
Why?
Because once someone is blocked, the conversation may disappear.
Screenshots provide evidence if you need:
- School involvement
- Platform review
- Law enforcement
This isn’t about overreacting.
It’s about documentation.
What Cyberbullying Looks Like Now
Cyberbullying doesn’t always look dramatic.
It often looks subtle:
- Group chats excluding one person
- Screenshots shared behind someone’s back
- Anonymous “question” apps
- Fake accounts impersonating someone
- Posting embarrassing photos
Sometimes it’s ongoing.
Sometimes it’s a single incident.
Both deserve attention.
How Parents Should Respond
If your child comes to you about something online:
First reaction matters.
Avoid:
- “Why did you post that?”
- “I told you this would happen.”
- “You need to delete your account.”
Try:
“I’m glad you told me.”
“Let’s figure this out.”
“Do you feel safe?”
That keeps the door open.
When to Escalate
Most issues can be handled by:
- Blocking
- Reporting
- Removing access
- Talking through it
Escalate further if there are:
- Threats of violence
- Sexual extortion
- Stalking behavior
- Persistent harassment
- Shared intimate images
At that point, you may need:
- School administration
- Platform support
- Law enforcement
But those are not the first steps in most cases.
Teaching Digital Boundaries
Offline, we teach kids:
- You don’t have to talk to someone who makes you uncomfortable.
- You can walk away from conflict.
- You can tell an adult if something feels wrong.
Online, the same rules apply.
They just involve a settings menu instead of a sidewalk.
A Quick Conversation Starter
Instead of waiting for a problem, ask:
“If someone made you uncomfortable online, would you tell me?”
Then listen.
Don’t interrupt.
Don’t lecture.
Just listen.
If the answer is yes, you’ve done something right.
If the answer is no, that’s important information too.
What This Really Comes Down To
Technology doesn’t create cruelty.
It amplifies it.
But it also provides tools.
Blocking.
Reporting.
Restricting.
Documenting.
When teens know how to use those tools — and know they won’t be punished for coming forward — they’re far safer.
Next time, we’ll talk about something that makes many families uneasy:
Sexting, screenshots, and the reality that the internet rarely forgets.
Because some digital decisions carry consequences that last much longer than a middle school argument.
Sexting, Screenshots & The Internet’s Very Long Memory
This is the part of the conversation many parents hope they never have.
And many teens hope they never need.
But in today’s digital world, it’s not realistic to avoid it entirely.
At some point, most teens will encounter:
- A request for a private photo
- Pressure to “send something back”
- A rumor about someone’s image being shared
- A screenshot that wasn’t meant to be saved
- A message that starts as flirting and turns uncomfortable
This isn’t about assuming your child will make reckless choices.
It’s about understanding the environment they’re growing up in.
First: Screenshots Are Forever
Even on apps where messages “disappear,” nothing truly disappears.
People can:
- Screenshot
- Screen record
- Take a photo of the screen with another device
- Forward images instantly
An image shared privately can become public in minutes.
That’s not meant to frighten anyone.
It’s just reality.
The Pressure Factor
Many image-sharing situations don’t start aggressively.
They start with:
- “I trust you.”
- “It’s just for me.”
- “If you liked me, you would.”
- “I already sent one.”
That’s pressure.
And teens are still developing impulse control and long-term thinking.
That doesn’t make them irresponsible.
It makes them teenagers.
The Legal Side (Which Many Teens Don’t Know)
In many states, explicit images involving minors — even if self-produced — can fall under serious legal categories.
Teens rarely understand that.
They think in terms of embarrassment.
Not consequences.
The goal here isn’t to threaten them with legal language.
It’s to help them understand that digital images carry more weight than they realize.
Sextortion: A Growing Problem
There’s also a scam element parents should know about.
Sometimes a teen is contacted by:
- A fake account posing as another teen
- Someone pretending to be interested romantically
- Someone who quickly asks to move the conversation private
The teen sends an image.
Then the account threatens:
“Send money or I’ll send this to your friends.”
That’s sextortion.
It’s becoming more common.
And it’s frightening for teens who feel trapped.
If that ever happens:
- Do not send money
- Stop responding
- Screenshot everything
- Report the account
- Tell a trusted adult immediately
The earlier it’s addressed, the better.
If It’s Already Happened
This is important.
If your child has already shared an image:
Shame will not fix it.
Yelling will not undo it.
Confiscating their phone won’t erase it.
Instead:
- Stay calm
- Gather information
- Save evidence
- Report the account
- Contact the platform
- Consider involving school officials if it involves classmates
Most situations can be contained more effectively when adults respond thoughtfully.
How to Have the Conversation Before It Happens
You don’t need a dramatic speech.
Keep it simple:
“If anyone ever asks you for a private photo, you can blame me. Tell them your parents check your phone. I’ll happily be the bad guy.”
That gives them an out.
You can also say:
“Anything you wouldn’t want on a billboard someday shouldn’t be sent digitally.”
Not because it will end up on a billboard.
But because once something is digital, control shifts.
Teaching Digital Self-Respect
This conversation isn’t about fear.
It’s about respect:
- Respect for their body
- Respect for their future
- Respect for their digital footprint
Teens deserve privacy.
They also deserve to understand how fragile digital privacy can be.
What This Really Comes Down To
The internet does not forget easily.
But mistakes do not define a life.
If something happens, the focus should be:
- Protection
- Documentation
- Support
- Problem-solving
Not punishment.
Next, we’ll talk about scams that specifically target teens — because not every risky message is romantic or mean.
Some are simply trying to steal money, passwords, or personal information.
And teens are often prime targets.
Scams That Target Teens (Yes, Really)
When we think about online scams, we usually picture older adults being targeted.
But teens are increasingly in the crosshairs.
Why?
Because they:
- Spend a lot of time online
- Trust quickly
- Act fast
- Don’t always recognize red flags
- Often have access to payment apps
And scammers know it.
The good news is this:
Most scams follow predictable patterns.
Once you know the patterns, they’re easier to spot.
The “Free Money” Scam
This one never goes away.
It shows up as:
- “You’ve won a giveaway!”
- “I’m sending $1,000 to the first 10 people who reply.”
- “Click here to claim your prize.”
- “MrBeast is giving away cash — just enter your info.”
It might look convincing.
It might use a familiar name or logo.
But here’s the rule:
If you didn’t enter a contest, you didn’t win one.
Teens should never:
- Share passwords
- Share verification codes
- Enter personal details into random links
- Send “processing fees”
Free money that requires payment first is not free money.
The Gaming Currency Scam
This one is common in gaming platforms like Roblox and Fortnite.
It sounds like:
- “I can get you free Robux.”
- “Click this site for free V-Bucks.”
- “Trade me your account and I’ll upgrade it.”
Instead, what happens is:
- Passwords get stolen
- Accounts get locked
- Payment info gets compromised
There is no secret free currency generator.
If it sounds too good to be true, it is.
The “Sugar Daddy” or Quick Cash Offer
This one shows up on Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok.
A stranger messages:
“I’ll send you $500 a week just to talk.”
Or:
“I need someone to be my online companion.”
It may quickly escalate to:
- Requests for photos
- Requests for banking information
- Requests to “verify identity”
Sometimes scammers even send fake checks and ask teens to send part of the money back.
The original check later bounces.
The teen is responsible for the loss.
Quick money online almost always comes with strings attached.
The Account Recovery Scam
A teen receives a message:
“I accidentally reported your account. You need to verify it or it will be deleted.”
They’re told to:
- Share a login code
- Click a verification link
- Send a screenshot
That code gives the scammer access to the account.
The account gets locked.
The scammer may then demand money to return it.
The rule:
Never share a login code.
Ever.
Even if the message looks official.
Sextortion (A Brief Reminder)
We talked about this in the last section, but it belongs here too.
Fake profiles often:
- Pretend to be attractive teens
- Move quickly to private messaging
- Ask for explicit images
- Then demand money
This is not rare.
It is increasing.
If a teen receives threats:
- Stop responding
- Screenshot everything
- Block and report
- Tell an adult immediately
Silence helps scammers.
Early reporting stops them faster.
Why Teens Fall for Scams
Not because they’re foolish.
But because scammers use:
- Urgency
- Flattery
- Fear
- Authority
- Excitement
The same psychological tactics that work on adults.
The difference is experience.
Teens haven’t seen these patterns as often.
That’s where parents come in.
A Simple Family Rule
Create one rule:
“If anyone asks for money, photos, passwords, or codes — pause and show me.”
No punishment.
Just a pause.
Scams thrive on speed.
Protection thrives on slowing down.
Practical Prevention Steps
- Enable two-factor authentication on accounts
- Keep accounts private
- Remove public email addresses
- Disable public friend lists
- Never save debit card info in apps
- Use gift cards instead of linked bank accounts when possible
And most importantly:
Keep the conversation open.
What This Really Comes Down To
Scammers aren’t targeting teens because teens are careless.
They’re targeting them because teens are online.
The goal isn’t to make your child suspicious of everyone.
It’s to teach them:
- Slow down
- Think
- Ask
- Verify